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Remember when mainstream news outlets published a bunch of incredibly irresponsible articles about how rich people were getting off crypto, and then people bought in and got wrecked over the two years of "crypto winter" that followed?

Anyway here's a WSJ headline I just saw: "Young Men Are Making Risky Bets on Crypto and Politics—and Raking It In Right Now" (gift link)

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taking psychic damage reading the lawsuit by Justin Sun’s Bit Global against Coinbase

COINBASE’S NONEXISTENT LISTING “STANDARDS” 62. While Coinbase claims to have made the decision to delist wBTC to adhere to the company’s “listing standards,” the truth is that Coinbase has virtually no standards for what can be listed at all. Around the same time that it was delisting wBTC, Coinbase has onboarded various “memecoins” which unlike wBTC have no inherent value other than demand created by their memetic potential as jokes. The decision to allow users to trade these memecoins makes clear that Coinbase did not delist wBTC because of any listing standard, but because Coinbase coveted wBTC’s market share and wanted it for itself. 63. On November 13, 2024, Coinbase announced that it was listing a memecoin called PEPE, named after a controversial picture of a cartoon frog which has been identified as a hate symbol and/or a “racist frog.” The coin is promoted to “Dank Meme Enjoyoors” with an official website that purports to perform an “Autism Test” on their computers to ensure that the user’s autism is over 9,000 before proceeding.17

i have to respect the argument that “memecoins... unlike wBTC have no inherent value other than demand created by their memetic potential as jokes”. your honor, wBTC’s lack of inherent value is for a different reason entirely

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i do have to give Haliey Welch some credit for comedic timing. intentional or not, she perfectly timed her Hawk Tuah rugpull to steal the spotlight from bitcoin hitting $100K, a moment coiners have been awaiting for years. masterful stuff

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Celsius CEO Alex Mashinsky has entered a guilty plea in his criminal fraud trial, which was scheduled to begin in about two months. His Celsius cryptocurrency platform collapsed in July 2022 after it couldn't meet customer withdrawal demands. Its failure was particularly devastating because it had actively marketed itself to customers as safer than banks, regularly telling customers that "banks are not your friends". Many people believed that because Celsius was based in the US, it was carefully regulated and therefore safe.

Alex Mashinsky wearing a "banks are not your friends" t-shirt onstage at WebSummit 2021
Web Summit, CC BY 2.0

Letters written to the judge in the bankruptcy case revealed the extent of the devastation to people around the world, some of whom had their entire life savings or retirement money on the platform. I published some excerpts back in July 2022.

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for those of you who've seen the supposed Enron relaunch and crypto project: their website's terms of use say it's parody.

tl;dr apparently someone thinks it's a good and funny idea to make a big joke out of a company that ruined people, and this is about as much oxygen as i'm inclined to give it

Enron logo
The information on the website is first amendment protected parody, represents performance art, and is for entertainment purposes only
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Posted

It's interesting to me that the Fifth Circuit only considered "control" at the smart contract level, and does not seem to consider the role of validators in their opinion. A substantial portion of ETH blocks are built with relays that censor transactions with OFAC-sanctioned contracts, and it seems to me there is now an open question as to whether validators that use non-censoring relays could be sanctioned directly.

The software codes here—the twenty Tornado Cash addresses for immutable smart contracts—are tools used in providing a service of pooling and mixing the deposited Ether prior to withdrawal. Indeed, the immutable smart contract provides a “service” only when an individual cryptocurrency owner makes the relevant input and withdrawal from the smart contract; at that point, and only at that point, the immutable smart contract mixes deposits, provides the depositor a withdrawal key, and, when provided with that key, sends the specified amount to the designated withdrawal account. In short, the immutable smart contract begins working only when prompted to do so by a deposit or entry of a key for withdrawal. More importantly, Tornado Cash, as defined by OFAC, does not own the services provided by the immutable smart contracts. A homeowner may own the right to trash-removal services and a client may own the right to legal services performed by a lawyer, but neither the homeowner nor the client owns the person performing the trash-removal services or the lawyer—for good reason. Similarly, Tornado Cash as an “entity” does not own the immutable smart contracts, separate and apart from any rights or benefits of the services performed by the immutable smart contracts.76

(Not saying they should, just remarking on the fact that it seems to have gone completely unaddressed.)

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Please do not record your abortions on the blockchain

I must once again urge you: please do not record your abortions on the blockchain.

There are a lot of very worried people right now, fearful of an impending regime that may well crack down on things like reproductive care, gender-affirming care, or the ability for immigrants to even continue to remain in the US. Some have suggested people get familiar with cryptocurrencies in the event they might have to circumvent an authoritarian state.

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